Today on our walk back from the mailbox, Noah was trailing a few yards behind Maddo and me, when I heard him say, "Oh hi truck. What you doing? Is you broken?"

Also, Maddo can pronounce the following words, not necessarily in this order: hot, shoe, nice, baby, bye bye, now, please, more, poo poo, daddy, mamo (grandma), Noah, (which is closely related to No,) and diddy, (kitty and/or anything with four legs) and last but not least pee -a-boo; we give her some slack for leaving out the "k".

I am oh so proud of these two growing munchkins! Something new everyday.

I AM DIVORCED!

Well, it's about time we got around to posting about our Memorial Day weekend trip to the vacation hot spot of St. Anthony, Idaho.

We made this trip for Dani's sister Alexis. I do believe she graduated high school last night, so if all three of you that read this blog clap really loud, maybe she'll feel the reverberations of your congratulations (Dani might like that one).

We took off early morning on Friday, and the drive down was largely without obstacle. First stop: Walmart.
We needed film for our instant camera. Did you know this stuff costs more than a dollar per exposure? Seriously. 13 bucks for 10 shots. Oh well, what's done is done. Now for the rules, this camera is only for use on candid shots. No posing, no prior knowledge of the picture. We'll get to those later.

Next comes some 9:00 a.m. truck-stop Taco Bell quesadillas. These were delicious, though my tummy hated me for it all weekend. If I may say so, however, the Staeb's got most of the wrath.

On the road once more, we saw a very gruesome car wreck that backed up traffic for several miles. How intense was it, you ask? There was a helicopter parked in the middle of the freeway. You be the judge.

Next stop: Idaho Falls because I needed a haircut before I saw Dani's fam. I mean, I needed one. I was sporting a pretty radical mullet. Before the haircut though, we bought books because Dani and I are compulsive bibliophiles. She picked up a copy of If On a Winter's Night a Traveler by Italo Calvino, I snatched a copy of Demonology (stories) by Rick Moody. Judging from the small bit we've read, they both come highly recommended.

So after some navigational adventures in the mall, including a brief but influential encounter with a very rude hair stylist (Dani was quite proud that she didn't tip), we were off. The home stretch.

What follows is a recount of our four day vacation in photos. Largely from our Polaroid camera.



Ahh yes, Luke in athletic gear. This is me preparing to get my game on and straight up school some chumps in b-ball. Or, you know, play HORSE with the Staeb girls. Dani didn't like the name of the game, though, and changed it to PENGUIN. She still lost.



But she did so with such great form!



Laid back goodness. Longboarding. Street surfing. Feeling the concrete waves. By concrete waves I mean, of course, the parking lot of the local LDS ward. In our defense, it is sort of hilly.

Side note: Dani's dad decided to give this a shot, too. It goes without saying that the man is a pro.





Dani doing her best Mary Poppins impersonation. Lexi is somewhere behind her, but she's quite agile and difficult to capture in frame.



We didn't have any bread, but Dani was determined to feed the ducks at the park. What we did have: Pan-fried noodles. They did try one or two, but it's safe to say that pan-fried noodles are not in line with the fowl's diet. Occasionally, a couple would wander by to listen to Dani's rhythmic cries of Here Duckie! Here Duckie!



Just because I think we're adorable. Actually, Lexi took this one. So she thinks we're adorable.

We rocked the Scrabble board a bit.



I spelled Ion, Iota, and Twas in a furious late-game combination, but it was futile. Dani's friend Ryan won this game. And with words like Farted, Weenie, and Moron, why shouldn't he?

We ended the trip on a high note, literally, with Dani and My's rendition of Anyone Else But You by The Moldy Peaches. A family performance that will surely go viral. Listen at your own risk, our talent crushes eardrums. Or at least something does.

Homemade coolers, pit-stop missions, and 350 or so miles of road talk and tunes. Thats right, we're traveling Faeble style. For all you who check our blog, be safe this long weekend and be sure to have a good time. Adios amigos!
PS. Be sure to visit us for pictures and posts from our trip. I promise obscurity and excitement.

No One Belongs Here More Than You is exceptional. I have been reading stories from it for the last few months, and each one excites me to limitless ends. Please go buy it. It will be worth it, I promise. If it's not, let me know, and I'll buy it back from you at full price. I could use a few more copies.

Miranda July is also the co-creator of the unbelievably amazing site Learning to Love You More (link in sidebar).

Listen to an audio version of her story The Boy From Lam Kien here.

Ernest Hemingway once said, "Sometimes I have good luck and write better than I can." Let's all hope that is true for me this month:

(Boise Weekly excerpt)
As part the fourth annual Ernest Hemingway Festival, which runs September 25-28 in Sun Valley, a call for unpublished short fiction story submissions are being accepted for the Prose for Papa contest. Entries must be postmarked by May 31 and the winner will be awarded $500. Submit entries to Prose for Papa, SVKCVB, P.O. Box 2420, Sun Valley, ID 83353 along with a nonrefundable $10 entry fee. Stories should be a maximum 2,600 words or 10 pages, typewritten, double-spaced and available in Word format.

May 31st. Just about two weeks. So begins my journey.

Update: Divorce not final. Yet. As far as I know. But maybe it is? I'll keep you posted. All two of you who sometimes read this drivel.

A few weeks ago, Dani and I did a writing exercise of my own creation. Just for fun, you know. It was this: Write a 101 word story (exactly!) using the first line, "I think that someday you will probably forgive me for drowning your goldfish."

I post, for your entertainment and our arrogant pleasure, the results.

Dani's Story:

I think that someday you will probably forgive me for drowning your goldfish. When you do, please send a postcard. I want you to know, that I know, that Fish forgot immediately about bobbing belly up in a cookie jar.

I will be waiting to hear from you on the porch I wish I had, the one with fading whitewash and silver slivers not even the dog I don't have can avoid.

The windowsill was a good place for him to see the real world; I had no idea he'd want to throw in the towel, too.

Luke's Story:

If all goes according to plan, there is a remarkably good chance that my divorce will be finalized by 9:30 this evening. If you have faith, pray. If you have fingers, cross them.

If you're wondering, I'm proud to report that the kids are still alive. Here is proof of their (beautiful!) existence:

I'm new at this whole "posting" and "hosting" a site all about us shenanigan. But I'm beginning to see the advantages. Luke always tells me, "when it comes to writing, show, NEVER tell." So that's what I'm going to do. Here is my life on a Popsicle stick (replacement for overused verbiage "in a nutshell").

It's Tuesday. That means paper airplane races. At least it does this Tuesday, as Dani and I have just finished our inaugural Tuesday Paper Airplane Race (more of a distance contest really). Without further ado, here are your contenders:

I recently started dabbling in painting. Here is my first attempt at art. More meaningful posts coming later.

Fish Out of Water
Acrylic on Canvas

I wrote a poem last night. I don't usually do the poetry thing, that's Dani's bag of tricks (and oh! What a bag!), but when it comes out, it comes out, and it came out, so here. Take it. Don't look back, just take it and run.

#Saturdays

The trick is, I think, to
not let it go
to your head.
It can be hard, she says.
Saturday shack is selling sips.
Cheap!
Cold lemonade, hand full of nickels.
August pavement, and too much sunblock.
She says these things with a grin,
one tooth missing, but another not.
I think about smiling back,
this time it's easy not to.
Kindergarten entrepreneurs.
Sally sold seashells, now
sells sidewalk chalk
close-out specials.

The Faeb Household:

Dani started her illustrious career in Broadway musicals at the age of 9. Though a child prodigy on the Kazoo, Dani grew bored of music entirely during adolescence and turned her attentions to her true love; jewelry making. Today, When not spending her time stringing her latest pearls, you can find Dani in Idaho, being Superwoman for three very grateful Felts.

Luke

While Luke received substantial media coverage in 1983 as a result of being the first Vietnamese boy both conceived and born under water, he has since ducked out of the lime light, and now spends his days in a very quiet, very dry, ghost town in Idaho. Every now and then, a stray reporter digs up his unique history and comes knocking; these precious few are rewarded with a unique tale of love lost and hidden treasures.

Madline

At 296, she is the oldest of the Felt clan. Due to a strange mixture of genetic abnormalities and modern science, Madeline ages backwards through time. She is a faithful disciple of the Church of Scientology, and has threatened me with the lord Xenu's fiery wrath if I take her off the grid.

Noah

Noah is two and a half years old. He enjoys horseback riding and using his patented belly sucker utensil for sucking bellies. Also, garage doors. He loves garage doors.